Getting Mixed Messages From An Ex? 9 Steps To Letting Him Go

Getting Over An Ex

From Your Tango

Your ex has moved on, and you should make the decision to do the same.

A YourTango reader contacted me with a complicated story of unrequited love. Her boyfriend broke off their engagement and cut off all methods of communication in 2012. Yet, she kept chasing him even though it was clear that he clearly didn’t see her as “the one.” She has tried to let go — to even forgive him after he blamed her for all their troubles. Then he began sending mixed signals — sometimes indifferent and sometimes showing that he cared about her feelings. This, of course, left her hurt and confused. Her question:  Should I break off all contact with this man?

My response: Only you know the full complexity of your story.  Only you can decide what is best for you. That said, here are a few points for your consideration:

1. A truth you can count on is this: trust and believe what people do more than what they say. Words are easily spoken, but the truth of our heart-felt intentions make themselves evident through our behavior. That’s true for you, me, the person about whom you write, and everyone else you’ll ever encounter. If what a person says sounds nice, but doesn’t fit with their actions, their words are meaningless.

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