Pretty Little Liar – Is Lying Ever Okay?

lying with love

Last night was the season premiere of According to Him and Her – which I like to call the Girl Code or Guy Code of cable network Centric. The new hosts, Free and Brian Hooks, tackled such issues as platonic same-sex friendships, if women cheat just as much as men do…and lying. Do I think same-sex platonic friendships exist? Yes. Do women cheat just as much as men? I’m not sure. And is lying ever okay? Hmmm…good question.

My first thought is NO, lying is never okay – and for the most part I’d rather be told an ugly truth than a pretty lie. But not all folks feel the same way, mainly because the truth hurts. And many believe that some lies are harmless, and those are usually the folks that lie without blinking an eye. I read an article once that said on average, people tell about 4 lies a day. I actually thought that number was pretty low. But then I thought to myself, “I don’t lie that many times a day…if at all.”  Or do I…?

Take this morning for example:

Coworker: “How are you today Brooke?”

My reply: “I’m great!”

But I was really tired as all hell from being up at night with my 6-month-old, and irritable because I just had a spat with my husband. So I was not “great” at all. But I said I was. Is that a lie?

Yes, it was.

But I’m the type to try my best to be positive, even when I don’t feel like it. After all, I don’t have to make everyone else miserable or unload all of my problems on anyone else just because I’m having a bad day. Right? So in instances like that, is telling a little lie okay?

Coworker: “I’ve lost weight, can’t you tell?”

Me: “Sure, keep it up!”

But what I really wanted to say was, “No, I don’t see it…as a matter of fact…you look heavier.”

But why would I say something so mean and tactless? I’m not one to try to hurt someone’s feelings, and when put on the spot, sometimes there’s no “creative way” to tell the truth without making someone want to punch you in the face…or run crying in a corner. I’d simply rather encourage you, even if it means telling a little fib. But is that wrong?

My sister is one of those people who tells you the truth whether you want to hear it or not. If your outfit is wack or your makeup looks busted…you’ll know it. I don’t think she could lie even if she wanted to. She wears the truth on her face. And even though I’ve gotten my feelings hurt many times because of her brutal honesty, I always appreciated that she never let me go outside looking crazy because she cared enough to tell me that my jeans were too tight, that I could benefit from swiping on some lip gloss real quick, that I should run a comb through my hair or get my upper lip and eyebrows waxed. She was telling me the truth because she loved me.

So what type of “liar” are you? Do you lie to spare people’s feelings? Or do you lie to keep from being caught cheating on your man? Do you only tell the painful truth to people you love or who you know can handle it? Or are you one of those people who claim to NEVER lie, no matter the circumstance?

And as far as your feelings are concerned, are you the type to only be receptive to the truth if it’s coming from a friend or loved one? Would you appreciate being lied to if it means sparing your feelings, or do you appreciate the truth no matter who is telling it?

I can’t answer for sure if lying is ever justified even though I’m sure there are some situations where it is – maybe even necessary. But what I DO believe is that there is a difference between telling a lie, and being a LIAR. But I could be wrong…and if we lie four times a day, even if they’re little white ones, I guess that might make me a liar too.

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